Cary Grant called one morning. He was the only person who could coax
two syllables out of my first name. "Di-ick, this is Cary," he
announced crisply. Never any danger of mistaking the voice we all knew
better than our own. Funny how easy those stars were to imitate.. and
how impossible to replicate. I asked how I could help him. For a press
agent.. a flack, a publicity guy.., three out of four calls are asks.
How-can-I-help-you? cuts to the chase. "You know this fellow Vernon
Scott, don't you? United something," Cary began. "United Press
International." "That's the one. I wonder if he would write a story
for you.. something I'd like to clear up." Cary liked to clear things
up. He'd called me early in our association to clear up the matter of
the English muffins at New York's Plaza Hotel. It was widely rumored
for decades that he once had called the manager of the hotel (in some
reports it is Conrad Hilton whom he called) to find out what had
happened to the other half of one of the two English muffins on which
his eggs Benedict were supposed to have arrived. The rumor had it that
he had requested that the other half be brought up to his room since
he'd paid for it. That, he had told me on the prior call, was
nonsense. He had merely inquired if the other half became part of
someone else' eggs Benedict or if it was wastefully discarded. He was
told it was put to good use, and he was fine with that. "Do you want me
to quash that rumor?" I'd asked during the muffin call. "No, I just
wanted you to know. It's too late now. That muffin has done its
damage."
But this time, it was clear that he wanted me to take
action. "What's the problem, Cary?" "One of those women's magazines,"
he said, "they've printed this story quoting me as having said that I
never loved any of my wives." "That's pretty rude. Did you ever say
that.. or anything like it?" "LIKE it, yes... yes , I did. I once
commented that I had never LEFT any of my wives. They all left ME. Do
you think you can get friend Vernon to speak to me to tidy that up?"
"Cary," I said, "this is one I think I can sell."
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